WISDOM I WISH I'D HAD BEFORE I GOT MARRIED!
How much are we prepared for marriage before we tie the knot?
What Do I Know??
After nearly 50 years of marriage, I've learned many things from God’s Word and experience. Yet there was SO much at the beginning of this journey about which I had not a clue! Not that I would have, given the fact I had not yet experienced it. Nevertheless...as an idealistic young woman, quite eager to find a husband and get married, sadly I had placed myself in a very bad position -- where I made major life decisions without the benefit of asking for wisdom from my parents. Looking back, the first lesson I would teach any young person today would be -- listen to your elders!! Believe me, it is more than worth it.
What is Most Important?
Another major reason I was ill-prepared was because I wasn't adequately taught by those who came before me. Not that I blame them—we cannot give what we do not have. However, in our culture, teaching the next generation how to be good spouses and parents has not been a huge priority, even in the church. Which is where, ultimately, this training should have come. And sad to say, our human nature would rather focus more on the urgent than the important. Therefore, more emphasis is placed on vocation and career for both men and women rather than preparation for marriage and family life. Sadly, even tragically, education and training in the way we will spend the major portion of our adult life falls by the wayside, lacking the intentionality it needs and deserves.
An Uncharted Course
Then sometimes, it's simply not possible to be as prepared as we'd like to be. Even if we've been well-instructed in this area, or even had parents who set us a good example, until we
are married, it all remains in the hypothetical realm! For until we actually flesh out the day-to-day marital relationship, we really don't know precisely how we
will handle any given situation. Because no matter how ready we think we may be, life will always,
always throw us a curve ball. In conclusion, we may as well be optimistic--it's much easier on our emotions to
expect the unexpected, anyway, right?! (Well, most of the time:) Especially when we have God to help us…...
Wisdom I Wish I’d Had Before I Got Married!
So for your perusal I have listed a few things below, unknown to me at age 20, but that I have since discovered, and am honored to pass along to you! I sincerely hope this will help you navigate your own marriage and family life well, and so that you can also avoid pitfalls here and there. And believe me, my husband and I are still walking these things out ourselves. We will never stop growing, learning, and changing--thank God!! Certainly though, one thing is for sure -- we can never go wrong, ever, when we choose to do things God’s way.
- To have a truly successful marriage Jesus must be ALL!
- God’s design for marriage works 100% of the time whenever we adhere to His Word.
- As we grow closer to the Lord, we grow proportionally closer to one other.
- Prayer is the absolute best way to become intimate and securely bonded to one another! Endeavor to pray together daily.
- The Bible is our Owner’s Manual for a godly home. Fear God and seek Him daily for wisdom!
- Men interpret love as R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Honoring him in every way seems to be their greatest need.
- Women interpret love as SECURITY – to be provided for, protected, and never abandoned.
- We all need to know acceptance, security, high esteem, and a purpose for living.
- Knowing God personally and that we’re passionately loved by our heavenly Father through Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection IS the key.
- Truest love is a life laid down. Jesus’ sacrifice for us is God’s ultimate expression.
- Marriage is always a Covenant, never a contract.
- Commitment, not feeling ‘in love’, is sometimes the only glue that will hold a troubled marriage together until healing comes.
- 1 Corinthians chapter 13—a perfect prescription for a love-filled marriage. It works in all scenarios!
- Let’s challenge ourselves to trust God to plan our family, and work with His plan! He truly knows best which children He wants to give us, how many, and when.
- Let the Word of God and Holy Spirit lead—His thoughts are a far better guide than our emotions
Chart Available for Purchase
We encourage you to click on the SHOP page under Charts and look for the title, “Wisdom I Wish I’d Had Before I Got Married!”. You can purchase, download, and print it to keep these words handy as a daily reminder. These charts also make great framed gifts as well as an important topic for personal and group Bible study.
